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Monday, December 22, 2008

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 05:54:03 GMT

Greetings from the (sometimes dirty) South!!!!!!!!!

I'll write more later, but I love it here!!

All you Northerners...it's 50+ degrees here, not 50 below zero.

My damn flight is later today. I best remember my scarf and mittens. I really don't want to leave.

*sigh*

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:05:57 GMT

I started writing this entry with the intention of listing the things I'm ungrateful for this Thanksgiving. As so much negative has happened in such a short amount of time, I thought that I would express it as a "lesson learned in life" form here.

But then, lightning struck me and I decided to talk about what I am thankful for, rather than what could have, should have, but will never be. It's just a waste of time to dwell on it anyway.

So, without further adieu, here I present to you, as trivial as it might be for some of the items, the things I am thankful for on this, the 27th of November, 2008. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

1. La familia. The 3 people that I could always count on, and always go home to and feel welcome at. My wonderful (and sometimes wonderfully annoying) familia. And, they have hundreds of tv channels which makes them doubly awesome

2. Los amigos. The few that I truly have that have been there to listen to me laugh and cry and rant and rave, particularly as of late. Thank you so much.

3. My job. With the economy in its current condition, I thank my lucky stars every day that I still have a desk with my name on it to sit at. Knock on wood.

4. Hockey. My Ice Hogs are doing great this year (#3 so far!). The fights are pretty sweet too. Each game just keeps getting better and better.

5. Chocolates by Daniel. This pricey chocolate place is nirvana for my mouth.

6. Amazon.com. The sales on there are truly splendid.

7. My "King of the Hill" DVDs. Dang old show.

8. "Celebrity Rehab" season 2. Fueling my addiction since earlier this year.

9. V8 V-Fusion Strawberry Banana Juice. Don't knock it till you've tried it.

10. Starbucks Gingerbread Lattes. Yummmyyyy.

11. The "In Death" book series by J.D. Robb. Eve is my idol, and I aspire to be as badass as her. For now, I will live vicariously through her.

Ok, that's all I can think of right now. This may be amended later if I can think of things. Till then, hasta la vista and muchas gracias!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:10:06 GMT

Hey! It's Election Day! Go vote! If anything, to get out of work/school/etc. for a while! I know I will be

The past month has really put things into perspective for me. In light of everything that has happened in such a short amount of time, I've realized more than ever how so few friends I really have. Yes, I know several people, and yes, I do my best to maintain contact with as many as I can, thanks to Facebook and AIM. But there are very few people that I would feel comfortable just calling up at most any hour of the day (within reason, of course) to discuss things that are bugging me, or to make plans for another day. Very few people. I could probably count them on one hand, and have a few fingers left over.

That worries me, because I'd like to think I have interesting things to say, at least some of the time. I don't think it is possible for someone to have something fascinating to say 100% of the time. After all, there are elements of life that are mundane. Or maybe I'm wrong, and I might be a very boring person and not even realize it, which is the cause of all my troubles I do consider myself to be a good friend, but there are some things in a friendship that both parties need to put forth. I think reciprocity is by and large the key to a good friendship. With reciprocity, you can gain trust and respect for the other person. It does not happen immediately, though. You have to build it from the ground up.

Granted, there are some people you just connect with right away, but that is the exception, not the norm. I'm usually pretty good about taking the initiative to invite acquaintances out to various events I hear of, wherever I may be at the time, with the intention of getting to know them better. I'd like to think we have a great time. At least I have a good time. But then for some reason, we lose touch, or we just end up staying acquaintances.

I'm not saying that I need several hundred best friends, but I just wish there were more people who would invest as much into a friendship as I do. I know everyone is busy with their own careers and lives, as am I, but there should still be a minimal commitment to keeping in touch, seeing how things are, and hanging out in person occasionally, if you want to call someone your friend.

I wish there were more people that if I needed a shoulder to cry on, I'd go to them, and I would not have to think twice about it. People always say that if you need a shoulder to cry on, they would be there. But their actions do not reflect that.

And, as I've learned the hard way in the last month, actions speak louder than words. They drown out anything you have ever heard.

Man.

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:36:24 GMT

"Sometimes it's easy to feel like you're the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, unsatisfied but barely getting by. That feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all ok. Because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in the world. To remind us that it wont always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you."

Damn. That quote is amazing.

Not much to update on. Work is fine, you know, S.S.D.D.

And if I had school, I'm sure that would be fine too.

I just wish life was fine.

Heisenberg is my Homeboy.

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 23:05:23 GMT

It's all fake. Just like when you learn the Coriolis Effect with regards to the direction of toilet flushing is fake, some things in life are just fake. Your elementary school science teachers were all a bunch of phonies, telling you to pay special attention to the counterclockwise direction that toilet bowl water flushed in the Northern Hemisphere. Did you actually think that in Australia, toilet water flushes clockwise? Fake, I tell you, fake!

I've definitely learned a lot in the last week about perception. Mostly about how we (mis)perceive one another based on what we "know" vs. what we think we know. What I mean by that is that jug of milk being sour, even though it doesn't look curdled and hasn't passed the expiration date. Or more seriously, something as simple as a friend turning into something much more, or a relationship turning into something much less. You know what I mean.

The interesting thing about human beings is that as soon as you think you've established an honest-to-God connection with someone, things change.

It's kind of like the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, for all you science nerds out there. This "no-shit-Sherlock" theory states that it is "impossible to know with unlimited accuracy the position and momentum of a particle." This is because in order to exactly locate a particle, the observer must bounce light (such as a photon) off the particle. And doing that will alter its position in an unpredictable fashion. So the non-science part of this is that the more you know, the less you really do know.

Once you deem a person worthy to be an integral part of your life and thus allow them to enter into your heart, the person changes in a way that invalidates what perception you had of them. The fact is that you never really know them, you just know the way they reacted to you in the situations you have been in with them. And sometimes, that is fake as well.

We're all just strangers.

Oscar Wilde once said, "the truth is rarely pure and never simple."

Oscar sure knows what's up.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:49:53 GMT

I know it was technically yesterday, but happy birthday to me.

Birthdays sure aren't the way they used to be. I miss Chuck E Cheese's. Nothing could ever go wrong at a Chuck E Cheese birthday party.

Alas, such is life.

Let's get ready to rant(le)....

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 23:09:44 GMT

Oh wow, has it been over a month since I last wrote? Yeah

Well nothing new really has happened here. Went to a ridiculous Nightwish concert at the House of Blues in Chicago. You know, I really have an issue with people that attend standing room concerts. Actually, I have several issues with people at standing room concerts. Let's go through them now, shall we? Ok!

1. The tall people - Ok I realize that being tall or being short is beyond anyone's control, but honestly, why the hell are all the tall people clumped together in a conglomeration in the front row of the damn concert? It's really obnoxious for the vertically challenged such as myself that cannot see anything whatsoever. They should move a little to make room for for the shorties. Which brings me to complaint #2...

2. The people lacking common courtesy - Again, I know you paid a lot of money to attend this concert and don't want to be bothered...but so did I! The band would not be up there performing and making shitloads of money if it weren't for people like you and me, the fans. I really hate it when I need to push or beg people to move so that I can get through the damn concert hall to use the bathroom. People are so repulsive.

3. The smell of people - Once again, I know standing room is a tightly packed, extremely restricted air flow environment, but seriously do people just not shower anymore? Or if they shower, do they just refuse to wear deodorant? The body odor at this concert was horrific, as was the cigarette and marijuana fragrance that many reeked of. While it was colder outside by the time the concert was over, I was so happy to be breathing fresh air, not the stench of those disgusting degenerates in the standing room.

4. The drunk (or otherwise just obnoxious) people - You know exactly who I am talking about. The ones that start fights, start the mosh pits, start the crowd surfing, all that nonsense. Again, if you read complaint #2, this is kind of an extension of that. I didn't come to the concert to get beaten the hell out of, and yet, every time I go to standing room, I get destroyed by a group of 10-15 morons whose IQs collectively add up to mine. The House of Blues and other standing room concert venues do not have enough security to watch and intervene when the idiots begin their reign of terror. I only noticed 3 security guards manning a crowd of nearly 1000 people in a venue that can really only comfortably hold a few hundred people.

5. The people with digital cameras - Ok, with the loud annoying people, the lighting of the venue, and the acoustics in general, you're not going to get a very high quality video / picture of the band. Not only is taking those stupid pictures distracting to the performers, but it's also distracting to me. You're holding your stupid camera all the way up in the air, so it's like another tall person in the way. And the flash on that camera is blinding to me too, when you're too distracted to pay attention to where you're pointing it at. They already videotape most of the concerts at most venues, so spend a few dollars and buy a professionally done video if you want to treasure this concert forever. Personally, it's not worth it. Not for this show, but for any show. I can get good pictures of the performers online, and I can get good videos off of YouTube or directly through the band's website and support them in the process.

Otherwise, the music was good, Nightwish puts on a pretty good show, and the Seema is pretty good concert company But I am never going to a standing room concert again. Never.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 02:52:15 GMT

Welcome August, the last official month of "summer break". Not that I was ever on any break to begin with. But summer has been pretty nice, nonetheless. It's just crazy how fast the time has gone, though. Pretty soon it'll be next summer and I'll be writing this same sort of thing.

Speaking of the time flying by, there have been several people that I know that have either become engaged, married, or expecting children in the last few months. I'm honestly really happy for everyone, don't get me wrong, but it's just...really overwhelming, I guess. I often find myself in a melancholy mood thinking of where the hell my life is going. Or if it is going anywhere at all, to begin with. I think of all the sacrifices I am making or will be making sometime in the near future, and wonder if it's really going to be worth it.

Someone at work asked me to picture myself 10 years into the future, at the age of 34, and ask myself what if I didn't do all this. Then they asked me to picture myself in 20 years, at 44, and ask myself what if. I think I'd be hating myself then if I did not do what I am doing now. There are things that I did not do 10 years ago that I hate myself now for. And I'm sure it will happen in another 10 years.

*sigh* I gotta stop thinking

2nd time in a month beeotches!

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:29:40 GMT

Aren't you proud?

I'm writing in here because I wanted to say a few random things. And because the Seema won't lay off of me till I do

First of all, I have a new hero. Andrew Zimmern. If you have not seen the show "Bizarre Foods" on the Travel Channel, watch it. He is a bona fide chef, and travels the world and eats the most bizarre things ever. The last episode I saw, where he went to Southeast Asia (like Thailand and Laos and such) and had live beating frog heart! Isn't that insane? I love the show because the guy is simply amazing. I don't think I could ever eat the things this man has eaten, so I give him severe props for eating pretty much anything, from bugs to bats to the innards of some nasty creatures. Some things are even raw. It was shocking that the 2 things he could not eat were deep fried chicken intestines and the durian fruit. He actually tried the fruit and spit it back out, apparently it's the stinkiest fruit in the universe. In Thailand and other parts of Asia, it's banned from public places because it smells so bad, and he said it tastes like rotting, mushy, fermented onions. How's that for disgustipating? I love this man.

The second thing is what the bloody hell is with Comcast. My "Bizarre Foods" watching days might be over soon, because they raised the price of my cable/internet service from $80/month to $110/month. I simply cannot pay like that, so I may be getting rid of this awesomeness really soon. I'm looking into other options at the moment. *Sigh*

Well, at least "Family Guy" and "20/20" and regular stuff I watch are still on broadcast tv.

The third thing is this past weekend was splendid. I helped out the Kiwanis Club (a service organization nationally known - they do a lot of community development projects, children related project, and whatnot) with their huge annual fundraiser, called "Brat Days". I really enjoyed being there and helping them out - they definitely needed the help. It was pretty humid outside and it was a long day, but it was worth it, at least to me. Special thanks to James, Chip, and especially Matt for accompanying me to this event and helping to the best of their abilities there as well.

I've said this before and I'll say it again -- I detest donating money, and I rarely ever do (Since moving to Rockford, in the last year I've donated $14 this year so far, to an animal rescue sanctuary here). What I think is more meaningful and productive than giving money is time. I would go to great lengths and adjust my schedule as best I can to donate my time to events like these. The free food was definitely a plus, but even if I didn't get that, I would have still volunteered. I've always felt like everyone really should try to donate some of their time to things like this and other events, because you never know someday if you're the one who is going to be needing the proceeds or someone's time and/or care from these types of efforts. Anything can happen, you just never know.

The fourth thing is...Rockford has a pretty decent go-kart racing joint This town may be ugh, but this makes up for a little bit of that. But only a little.

TaTa for now - I'm off to the races (of reading, that is!)

Heeeeeeellllooooooo!

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 02:59:01 GMT

Hey remember me? I'm probably a smidgen of dust in your ever expanding world, but heeeeeellllooooo anyway

I have not really had the chance to sit down and update this thing in a really long time. Both May and June were crazy busy. And even now it's busy, but I don't really like not updating this thing. To me, it's like a time capsule. I've had this since 2003 and sometimes I go and I look back at those entries and think to myself, "What the hell was I thinking?" And I want to be able to come back to this very blog in say, 10 years, and think the same damn thing. Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets, but I just find it funny how "little" I was then. It'll be even funnier when I'm really old looking back. Anyway, I digress.

So I went to Branson, Missouri over Memorial Day weekend, which was totally awesome. Branson is famous for being a family-style Vegas, or as Matt put it correctly, a Hick's Wisconsin Dells. It was pretty sweet though, I really enjoyed the theme parks and tourist things. I only wish I had more time to see everything. We stayed in a friend of a friend's decrepit shack in Springfield, Missouri, which was only about 45 minutes north of Branson, so we saved a bit on a hotel for a few nights. And the gas is dirt cheap in Missouri, anyway (well, as dirt cheap as it's going to get these days..I think it was around $3.60/gallon there). Good times.

We also went to Arkansas for a little while on the Branson trip, since it's only 30 miles south of Branson. That area of the country is really gorgeous, after all, it is in the heart of the Ozark Mountains. The town we checked out was Harrison, the first sign of civilization past the state line. We went to a flea market, antique store, and finally stopped at a truck stop to get some late afternoon snacks and talked to an old coot about moonshine. Ohhh Arkansas, how I heart thee.

I was in Denver, Colorado, all of the first week of June, which was totally awesome as well. It was amazing, you could see the Rocky Mountains from the heart of the downtown area, where I was located. The conference I was at was pretty neat, and it was really nice to run into some familiar faces from my undergrad research times at U of I. The weather was fabulous and the trip was too short. But I loved it.

Spent July 4th at U of I, with Matt and Chip and his family, eating hideously unhealthy but superb July 4th food and setting off some $135 worth of fireworks. Definitely a splendid weekend

And then I came back to Rockford and have been ridiculously bored ever since. I haven't done anything particularly useful other than go to work and come home. I did manage to procure more than half of the original James Bond novels by Ian Fleming, so I am in the process of reading those. Not sure if I'll be moving out at the end of this month...I probably should figure that out ASAP as well.

Otherwise, just trudging through I guess. This summer is flying by!